Struggling Doesn’t Make You Broken – You’re Not Alone

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and to help break the stigma, I thought I would get a little personal with you.

You’ve Probably Heard My Voice Before...

If you're reading this, odds are pretty good that you have listened to my voice on your radio in the car, at home, or maybe even at work. We may have met in person, through social media, or maybe we've chatted through the text feature in the station app.

I've been doing this talking on the radio thing here in Evansville for almost twenty years now, and it's a pretty public-facing career. Every day, I give you a glimpse into the life of Kat.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

If you've been hanging around long enough, you may even think I have it all together... a friend recently told me that it seemed like I do, and I couldn't help but laugh out loud when she told me.

Me? Have it all together? Hardly. Every day is a struggle, and it has been for quite a while. Now, please don't get me wrong. My life is good, and I am blessed beyond measure, but I want you to know that I struggle with my mental health too.

A Reminder for You... and For Me

That's why I opened the keyboard today. I want you to know that you are not alone. I want to remind myself that I am not alone either.

A friend on Facebook asked a question recently, and I've seen this or similar questions asked before: "Does anyone else feel like you can't keep up with the house, the kids, the job, and the partner?" and even "How do these other women work full time and keep a house?"

READ MORE: Breaking the Stigma By Sharing Our Struggles

We Steal Our Own Joy by Comparing Ourselves to Others

While I believe some women are born with some genetic superpower to do all the things all the time and be all the things for all the people all the time, I don't have that superpower. I also don't think the vast majority of women do either.

I think we compare ourselves to the highlight reels shared online by others, and at least for me, especially when it comes to things like keeping house, that comparison stirs up feelings of shame and guilt.

The Hidden Toll of Grief

See, I've been in that place of struggle for a while. I experienced a tragic and sudden loss in my life a few years back that really devastated me, and I have struggled to claw my way back ever since. So what does loss have to do with keeping house? For me, as a late-diagnosed neurodivergent, keeping house has always been a challenge, but I had always managed to somehow stay on top of it... until I couldn't.

Neurodivergent and Overwhelmed

In my grief, I couldn't keep up. Not with the house, and the job, and all of the expectations. Things got so overwhelming that I just couldn't keep up, and I still can't. It had become an either-or situation. Housework, or work work, and only one of those pays the bills. Mental energy to cook a meal for myself at the end of the day? Forget about it.

Borrowing Energy From Tomorrow

There have been days when I would go home with no energy left at all. On those days, I had to choose to use the energy I was borrowing from tomorrow (and I was always borrowing from tomorrow) to either shower or feed myself. Needless to say, housework took a backseat to just trying to survive.

Kind of ironic when you think about it. I mean, after all, the people around me thought I "had it all together." Except, I was falling apart and comparing what I perceived to be my own "failing" to their highlight reels, all the while thinking they had it all together.

READ MORE: I'm 12 Years Sober and I Still Just Want to Call My Dad

The Turning Point

I'm still struggling, and I'm still clawing my way back, but it's getting better. My doctor and I seem to have found the right medication and the right dosage, and my executive function is beginning to come back. I'm not as mentally drained at the end of the day, and I haven't had to borrow energy from tomorrow for a few weeks now.

You Are Not Alone — It Gets Better

This is not my first battle with grief, depression, or other mental health struggles. Going undiagnosed as a neurodivergent for 40+ years will have that effect on a person, but I'm feeling optimistic about my mental health for the first time in a few years, and I just want you to know that it gets better. It gets better, and you're not alone.

Mental Health Awareness Month has been celebrated every May since 1949. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis, help is available 24/7 by texting or calling 988 to reach the SAMHSA Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, where you can find judgment-free support.